December 14, 2019

It’s June 2016 – Pride month in Canada. One of my closest friends from university is visiting Toronto for pride. We spent the afternoon sipping coffees and eating rainbow donuts. I was sporting a low-cut tank and they, as always, were parading around in all their queer-edgy-hip-artsy glory. We were going to meet my other queer friend that evening for a roller derby competition. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty queer.


November 30, 2019

Most of my friends didn’t think it was a big deal when I came out to them. In some ways, they reacted perfectly. They reacted like a good liberal ally is supposed to. I put no blame on them. When they said “it’s not a big deal,” what they meant was “I don’t judge you, I still like you, I still see you the same way.” That was a relief, and something for which I am very grateful. Without downplaying the joy that I was still acce...

November 9, 2019

Who am I? It’s a question all humans have asked as they try to place themselves, their singularity, in the context of the whole. Ok, so I’ll admit I wrote the first draft of this while volunteering at a meditation retreat centre in Tuscany (surprise, their guru is Osho from Wild, Wild Country fame on Netflix…but these people are super nice and non-culty, thankfully). This immersive experience perhaps makes me a little more awa...

October 26, 2019

I’m writing this from a hostel in Copenhagen while solo travelling (and posting it over a year later when at home). Two female friends from Holland welcomed me into their conversation with another other solo traveller. We all exchanged stories of travel and adventure, and I explained that I moved to England for a love that didn’t work out. I purposefully left my story gender neutral. And when my new friends assumed my ex was a...

September 30, 2019

Everyone jokes about how middle school kids are shy around the opposite gender (even though there are more than two genders). I was no different.

In high school, this inability to connect with boys persisted. My one male friend was queer. I didn’t have strong crushes in high school. I went to prom alone.

Then came university. I thought, probably along with a lot of weirdo high-achieving teens, that the end of high school was the...

September 16, 2019

In the past, I aimed for neutral fashion, so I could stand out for my thoughts, not my appearance. Since I became a lesbian, I want people to know who I am without having to constantly come out. At the same time, I am afraid to leave the safety of straight passing. (Added bonus: I can check girls out without them noticing, teehee).

This is Part Two of Six of a mini-series on queerness and fashion, appearance, and visibility. Ch...

August 7, 2019

Since my early 20s, I’ve been actively bookmarking online articles about how to raise healthy, progressive kids, and – straight privilege alert – I never gave the logistics any thought.

Despite being in my late 20s, I still sometimes feel more like a baby dyke than a dyke ready for a baby. And yet, from the beginning of my be-coming out, my queerness has forced me to question the connection between my feelings of being a woman...

August 4, 2019

When I was 16, to avoid the lines for a changing room, I made the mistake of trying on a wrap dress over my clothes in a crowded Urban Outfitters on a Saturday afternoon. I got totally tangled and lost in it. I finally emerged, sweaty and humiliated from the struggle. This is Part one of a mini-series on queerness and fashion, appearance, and visibility.

Suffice it to say, I’ve never been a fashionista. But I wasn’t a tomboy ei...

July 28, 2019

I was straight in university. Yep, that’s where this story begins.

There wasn’t much before that. I was late to hit puberty, and didn’t experience those hormone-induced-semi-rational high school crushes. My sexual awakening didn’t start until university, after I had been unquestionably straight for 18 years. I continued happily along that path.

And oh what a path being a straight and single woman in university can be!* For me, I...

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