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 what is the deep dive? 

I found it disorienting to slip on the banana peel of an uncertain sexuality. I’m also a big nerd, and if I may say so myself, a skilled researcher. These two facts crystallised into a lot of research. Like a lot. I did a deepdive into all things queer.

At first, I felt more frustrated and confused by my research. So much content out there follows a traditional coming-out narrative of ‘I always knew, and I finally have the confidence to tell people.’ I didn’t relate, and yet I didn’t feel straight. I was in the throws of queer love, and yet society was telling me there was no way I could be queer.

Then finally, I found something that clicked. It was such a relief to find a narrative that reflected my experience of discovering my sexuality in my early twenties. I hope my blog can provide a similar relief to some of you on your journeys, wherever they lead you.


I’m going to share some of the things I thought were the most useful, hilarious, or otherwise appreciated in my be-coming out, or process of recognising and accepting my queerness. This list of resources is in no way systematic or all-encompassing. It’s a collection of things that helped me feel valid, advice that I followed (whether or not it was wise), and content I enjoyed (whether or not it was good).

If you’re questioning your queerness or in the process of be-coming out, you may want to do your own obsessive research too. Autostraddle and Black Girl Dangerous are good places to start. Autostraddle focuses more on queer culture and Black Girl Dangerous focuses on queer activism, particularly to amplify the voices of racialized queers.

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